So many arguments - Talk About Marriage

My H & I have been having big arguments over the last few months. He works away for two weeks and his home for three.

We had wonderful expensive joint birthday party as he is ten years older than me. I had a wonderful night talking to all our friends and family but when we came back home with my mum and dad, me and my H had a massive argument because he said i didn't spend any time with him and I was all look at me... but when its your party your expected to mingle, the argument, got way out of hand and my mum ended up getting involved. It ended up with my H telling my mum that he will not be spoken to like that in his own house, to which my mum screamed well i'll leave your F house. My mum told me to go back home with her but i was stuck... do i go with my mum and dad or stay with my husband. i spent the next few hours crying and although a little bit drunk picked up my coat and walked out the house... it felt like a weight had been lifted. I got to the bottom of our road and he came running after me asking me to come home and at least phone for a taxi and not walk at 3am the two miles to my mums. I decided to stay.

The next morning it was horrible I was so miserable and could not stop crying... was i that much of a bad person that i deserved my birthday party to be ruined and had I behaved so appalling ?? After a few hours of talking things got back to normal.. My H rang my mum and they both apologised and both said that the argument got out of control.

His Dad and Mum's relationship isn't the best his dad is very controlling and wants well has his wife's life, after a broken leg she has very little independence and relies on his dad to get out and about. But i get the feeling that she has been worn down. She explained that over the years it was ALWAYS her saying sorry, even though she wasn't in the wrong.... He says that she is in charge things could have changed as a while back she walked out and left him but i think it was six weeks and she went back - i think under her terms

We had another argument last night as I went to see my only single friend and look at her new apartment, the idea was that we stayed in but it was a Saturday night so decided last minute to go out, my H rang me as we were getting ready and was peed off as i'd had a bit to drink and apparently was going out half cut.

With him working away the argument continued all night over email... and then at 2.30 i got a phone call off him blasting me about being out.. the argument continued again this morning. He was saying that if i go out with my single friend all she wants to do is try and find somebody and when she does she will drop me in a town i don't know on my own. He came out the with ridiculous statement of I can only go to a club with my single friend if there's somebody else with us so i am not left on my own. He claimed that if something happened to me and he's working away he wouldn't be able to help me. So i threw back at him so i should go out with my friend when he is home just in-case something happens to me and i need him to come and save me, and then apparently you only go to a club to try and meet somebody !!!

I'm only 30, married no children and I feel like all the fun nights are slipping away as all my other friends are now hermits, and I am still a party girl.

I don't know if all of this is because he has no friends to go out with??? he goes out with my dad and my uncle and sometimes my cousin, I have asked him to try and get some friends but he says that he has got his brothers (who he hardly sees's)

On holiday after another argument he said that all the arguing isn't good, he's tired of it and he is wondering if there's any point in carrying on.. but i get the feeling the arguing comes from me not being a good little wife and agree with what he says.

After our chat after my birthday and on holiday when he said that he would try and calm down as he has a fiery temperament we had a lovely weekend away.. and i didn't want to go home for fear of it going back to the old way..

I am lost in what to do, he is very good at winning an argument and at one point my friend was astonished to find out that in the beginning i didn't argue with him because i though what's the point he'd only brow beat me until i say yes your right or sorry..

He has had a crap marriage before when everything he thought he knew was a lie and she was cheating on him with a number of people.

I don't know that answer, would marriage counselling help ??

Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/anxiety-depression-relationships/57641-so-many-arguments.html

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